It occurred to me that several of my classmates, and many of my friends who graduated with me this year have posted a "graduation post" (or a "prom post" earlier in the year) on Facebook. In this post, they talk about how great their high school experience was, that they'll never forget the people and friends, they'll stay in touch, and that high school was one of the greatest experiences of their lives.
I was actually considering putting up my own post.
Until I realized.
High school is NOT going to be a high point in my life. I refuse to let it be. For one thing, I was miserable and a step away from suicidal for almost half of it. I didn't enjoy myself while in the company of a large majority of my classmates. This isn't to call out my classmates and call them cruel or anything. I like most of my peers from Ballard. I'm fond of several. I'm close with a few. But if anyone tells you that I "fit in" or "truly belonged" in high school, they're wrong. For which I'm grateful, but that's another post all together.
I have no desire to post a "farewell" to my high school because I don't feel that it would fit. Sure, I'll miss several of the teachers. I'll miss the familiarity of a set schedule each day. I'll miss interacting with my peers, friends, and the like. I'll miss the extra curricular activities I participated in. But I don't think saying good bye accomplishes anything.
My thoughts on graduating are that I'm glad it's over. I'm glad I'm gone. I know that when I walked to my car after my graduation ceremony, I didn't look back. I'm not sad to have left because I've got another chapter ahead of me. Why worry about the last chapter? Yeah, the chapter that just ended was beyond important. I know so much about myself and the world, and all that overly cliche stuff because of high school. But there's always tomorrow. And my tomorrow is going to be pretty flipping amazing. I refuse to look at it any other way.
I don't know if all that made any sense, but I guess what I'm trying to say is that those posts on Facebook aren't authentic. Or at least they wouldn't be if they came from me.
Because let's be real. If high school and prom were the things you looked back on your life with the most satisfaction and pride when you had a stream of clear fluids dripping into your arm with silently weeping family members all around you 70 years from now, I don't think that you lived as full a life as you could have.